did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
