Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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