hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
