Don't you send me to vm
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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