Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
