Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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