You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
