Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize