Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
