halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
