Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
