I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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