This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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