it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Randomize
