did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
