Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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