I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize