so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
