she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
