I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
God, I missed his penis.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
