No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
