Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
