Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just want nice things and good sex
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
