no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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