y did u give ur computer a hand job?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
