you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
