Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
