i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
