She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
