Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
