3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Who died my cat blue again?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
