Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
