I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize