How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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