so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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