Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can I color on your dick again?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
