don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Let's paint friendship bongs
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize