At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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