I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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