I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
