Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
