the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize