Screwed.edu
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
