When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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