Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
