you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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