singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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