No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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