Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
