what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
