You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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