I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize