Yo dont text me then not text me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
