please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize