Those balls look pretty dangerous.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
