i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
