who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
