he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize