I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
