Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
