Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
