my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just googled if crying burns calories
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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