covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm always down for nudity.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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