are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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