Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
